To some, Mother’s Day is a day of spoiling and relaxing. These ladies can kick back and be waited on all day by their husband and children. To others it is a day of stinging pain. A day forced on them by Hallmark and other cheesy greeting card companies. These ladies perhaps can’t have children, or they’ve never found Mr. Right, or perhaps they have bad memories of their own mother. If you find yourself in the latter camp, I’d like to show you that you can celebrate this Mother’s Day.
Waiting to Celebrate this Mother’s Day
Ever since I can remember, I wanted to be a wife and a mother. I wanted to be a homemaker just like my mom was for us.
I graduated high school and then college with no prospect of a husband. My wife and mother dream had to wait. But I didn’t just sit and wait on it. I traveled the country. I got lots of new experiences. My bank account was piddly but I was doing whatever I wanted. All while never forgetting my ultimate dream simmering on the back burner.
When I finally got married I had to consider the possibility of not being able to have children. After all, many of my friends and relatives were in this boat. Why would I be excluded?
My husband and I were able to have a child of our own, but this does not excuse me from remembering others who can not or do not have their own children.
How You Can Celebrate this Mother’s Day
Even if you can’t bear your own children, there are many ways you can be a mother. [Related post: Ways You Can Celebrate this Mother’s Day]
~Be the Best Auntie: Do you have nieces and nephews? Offer to babysit. Take them on special “dates.” Attend their recitals, programs and games. No, you will not be replacing their mother, but you will be gaining “Best Auntie Status.”
~Be a Mentor: Is there a young girl or teen in your community or church who doesn’t have a mother? Is she in the foster system? Has her mother died or abandoned her? Come along beside this girl and be a mentor, friend and mother figure to her. Do life with her. Be there for her.
~Be a Mother’s Helper: A lot of times mothers are so busy with their own families that they don’t have time to reach out to others. Just because they don’t reach out to you doesn’t mean you aren’t welcome there.
Wherever I happened to be living when I was single, I would seek out a family or two to graft myself into. As I got to know each family I would discover different ways I could be a blessing to them. For one mom, she was particular about her kitchen work so I would often occupy the children when I popped in. For another mom, she appreciated the dishes being done so I would wash dishes for a couple hours while visiting. Another mom wanted to learn how to can and freeze food items so I would share my knowledge and help with those tasks.
Whatever family you graft yourself into, take time to learn how you can be a blessing and not a nuisance when you stop by. It may be awkward at first, but after the mom knows you are there not to be entertained but to help, she will relax in your presence as you work or play together.
~Do Foster Care: There is such a need for foster homes! Having foster children when you are single would be challenging but I know of some who do it. If you feel that you could handle it, go for it.
If you are married, consider opening your home to foster children while you are waiting to have your own children or if you can’t have your own. The great thing is you may get the chance to adopt out of the foster system! This would be the most affordable way to adopt as the state would take care of the cost.
~Adopt: Both domestic and international adoptions are quite rigorous and expensive. If you have the means to adopt, go for it! If you would love to adopt but are financially unable, consider doing foster care and wait for the opportunity to adopt.
~Volunteer at a Boys & Girls Club or a Youth Group: Helping at any after-school program is a great way to get to know the youth in your area. Through volunteering there you may get the opportunity to seek out a deeper relationship with one or a few of the teens.
I loved helping out with our youth group when I was single. It was challenging for sure, but so rewarding. Most days I think they taught me more than I taught them! At first I was so intimidated because I thought I had no credibility to be leading and mentoring them. Then I discovered the kids mostly wanted a listening ear. They wanted someone’s attention. They wanted someone who would be real and vulnerable with them.
~Visit the Nursing Home: There are tons of mothers at nursing homes! Be a regular visitor at a nursing home and learn and glean from those old ladies. They have seen and lived through so much! Be a listening ear, a friend and also a student of these weathered mothers. If you have nowhere else to celebrate this Mother’s Day, join in their celebration!
So Go Celebrate this Mother’s Day!
Celebrating this Mother’s Day is not just for those who have given birth to their own children. It is for those who desire to be a mother. For those who are a mother to someone who’s mother is absent. For aunties, mentors, helpers and volunteers.
Even if you can’t bear children, there are lots of ways you can find to celebrate this Mother’s Day.